Husband Wife Jokes

It is said that Husband is the head of D family,
But
Remember that wife is D Neck of D family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly D way she wants.

[#] Enjoy latest & coolest collection ever on your favourite e-TV=emotionalsms.com of mobile text stuff and quotes. Read best of the months, husband wife jokes; put a big smile on your loving wife's face sharing funny husband and wife jokes in hindi on her cellphone.

A white couple gets a black child.
Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black?
Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!

True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a latenight out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhitak safai kar rahi ho?

Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goesto work, why don't you do that? Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.

Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...

Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife

Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!

Husband - aj kuch aisi bat batao jisase dil khush bhi ho jaye aur jal bhi jaye
Wife- tumhare sare dosto me sabse acha kiss karane ka style tumhara hai

bivi k thappad marne k bad pati bola Admi use hi marta h jise vo pyar karta h.
bivi ne bhi 2khich k mari or boli-Ap kya samjte h mai apse pyar nahi karti.

Wife: Bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subai k 8 ho gaye,
Thake nahi ?Husband: abhi to kuchh nahi kia ab to din raat karunga kyu ki..
5000 MSG free hai.

Wife pati se boli-Dekho G Kaam karte Waqt mere ko Kiss-Wiss na kiya karo.
Tabhi Kaamwali Boli-Maidam achi Tarah se Samjha do, Mai to bol-bol ke Thak Gayi

At late night wife's smartphone beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry.
He wakens his wife.
Husband (angrily): who is this person saying beautiful???
Surprised wife checks her mobile.
Wife (double angrily): heyyy... use your spectacles. It is not beautiful. It is battery full.

Wife: Dekhi na wo aadmi mujhe ghur ghur ke dekh raha hai.
Husband: Arre wo to bhangar wala ( scrap dealer ) hai, Bekar MAAL par nazar rakhana uski addat hai...........

Patni- Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The, Par Ab Nai Dete, Kyu?
Pati- Tune Kabhi Kisi Machware
Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai

wife 2 husband-mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumane le chalo.
husband-chalo tayaar ho jao.
petrol pump chalte hain..

Wife-kitna pyar karte ho hame.
Husband-shahjhan jitna.
Wife-mere marne ke bad taj mahal banaoge.
Hsbnd-me plot bhi le chuka hu
pagli der to tu kar rahi he.

Husband:
Jab mai
tumhe chillata hu tab
tum apna gussa kispe
nikalti ho ??
.
Wife:
toilet saaf karke
.
Husband:
Hahahaha ,
bewkoof aurat vo kaise?
.
Wife:
Toilet aapke
toothbrush se saaf
karti hu.

Patni ka "I love you" bolne ke baad pati ka "I love you Tooooooooo" bolna utna he jaruri h
jinta "jor se bolo" ke baad "Jay maata di" bolna

Hubby - Mere Seene Mein Bahót Dard Hó Raha Hai,
Jaldi Se Ambulance Ke Liye Call Lagao......
Wife - Haan, Lagati Hu,
Apne Mobile/Smartphone Ka Password Bataó......
Husband - Rehne Do, Ab Thoda Theek Lag Raha Hai.

On Sáturday Night
Wife In very Romantic Mood:-Aaj Muje Rassi Se
Bandh Do aur Jo Karna Chaho Kár Looo januuuuu.
Páppu Ne Usay Bandha Or Dosto K Sáth
Ghoomne Chala Gayá

Bhákt: Guru ji, Aisi Patni ko kyá kahte hai jo..
Bahot Fair ho,
Height achhi ho,
Bahut cute ho
Nature sweet ho,
Brilliant ho,
Pati ko samjhe Aur
kabhi jhagda ná kare?
Guru ji: Mann ka Vahám kahte hain Beta, Mann ka Váham!!!

kal teri wife bahut jor jor se chillai kyo thi ?
mere ghar taak aawaz aaye the|
are kuch nahi yaar uska Photo facebook pe upload karne ke jagah OLX par upload ho gaya|

Funny sms |

Funny Love SMS